Lost in Confusion
by Steph7085
Summary: COMPLETE! What seems like the perfect shore leave has disasterous effects for the Voyager crew as someone important is seriouly injured, and the person has to fight for their survival. Can the fight be won or are they fighting a losing battle. JC, PT
1. Chapter 1

Fire was coursing through her veins, setting her skin alight with a painful ache that left her with water pooling in her eyes and her breath coming out in short, shaky gasps. Behind her eyes a dull throbbing sensation was exploding leaving her vision blurred. Taking a short step forward, she tried to figure out where she was and for that matter why the hell was she feeling like she was going to drop dead at any minute. Her legs were shaking and it took all of her will power to keep from stumbling to the ground. She cautiously glanced around the area, she could barely make out shapes in the distance, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't focus her vision. She felt something warm trickle down her cheek but didn't have the strength to wipe it away. _Why can't I remember anything? _Suddenly she heard voices gradually coming closer to her position.

"Captain" Tom Paris and Belanna Torres shocked voices asked simultaneously. They rushed over to her side as she sank to the floor; the pain began to overwhelm her and she began to shake and sob uncontrollably. The last thing she was aware of as the darkness overtook her was a hand that reached out to comfort her.

Belanna was in a state of pure shock as she took in her Captains appearance as she rounded the corner of a dull grey building followed closely by Tom. Her clothing was ripped barley even covering any of her body at all. She had cuts and bruises covering what seemed like every inch of skin and blood was pouring from a gash on her forehead. It was obvious that she was barely conscious as she swayed on her feet; she never even acknowledged their presence. She finally snapped out of her trance when the Captain collapsed to the ground and inconceivable sounds came from her mouth as she shook. Tom practically ran passed Belanna and placed his hand on the Captains shoulder as she lost consciousness. He hit his COM badge with a surprising force;

"Paris to Voyager, medical emergency" he snapped "Three to beam directly to sickbay. Belanna moved to stand by Tom as the transporter beam consumed them. Re materialising in sickbay, they were greeted by the doctor, as soon as he noticed the Captains limp form he directed Tom to place her on the bio bed.

"What happened?" The doctor questioned as he began to scan the Captain with his tricorder. Before Paris could even answer monitors began to beep hysterically alerting everyone to the life that was slowly disintegrating before their very eyes. The Doctor immediately went into action, issuing Tom with orders along the way. Belanna, who remained silent throughout this, began to panic as she watched the fight for life in front of her. This wasn't supposed to be happening everything had been going so well, they finally found a friendly planet and got the materials and food supply they so desperately needed, they even made friends with the race that belonged here. She should have known it was too good to be true and now she could possibly lose someone who not only she respected more than any one else she had ever met but someone she had considered to be a great friend. She couldn't just stand by and watch, her emotions began to overwhelm her and she quickly left sick bay and sat down next to the wall in the outside corridor, holding her head in her hands.


	2. Chapter 2

The first half his shift had been uneventful so far but Chakotay was glad as it allowed his mind to wonder back to the events of the past week. Finally something seemed to be going right for Voyager and he was thrilled that they had everything they needed now which meant all the crew could relax a little; including Kathryn. He actually grinned as he remembered her laughing at him when he nearly passed out as she actually agreed to shore leave: without arguing. He had just come back from his shore leave and marched into her ready room ready to argue his case, but quickly became to stunned to even speak when he saw the casual clothing and she turned and said _Relax Chakotay I'm taking shore leave_. It was at that point in time he had to grip the end of her desk and her laughter filled the room;_ You know you would think that I never take time off from the expression on your face…see you in a few of days commander. _Again a huge grin fills his face as the memories fill his mind. His thoughts were interrupted, when a hail came through the bridge.

"Paris to Voyager, medical emergency" Tom snapped "Three to beam directly to sickbay." Immediately Chakotay's head snapped up, he quickly stood and made his way to the turbo lift;

"Tuvok you have the bridge…I will be in sickbay" Chakotay's comment was met with a nod as the turbo lift doors hissed shut. As the doors reopened Chakotay picked up his pace towards sickbay. As he rounded the corner, he saw Belanna sat with her head in her hands. Slowing to stop in front of her he placed on hand on her shoulder:

"Belanna" he spoke softly "…Belanna what happened…what's wrong?" She slowly pulled her gaze up to meet his. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "The Captain…she…she is hurt…real bad…heart stopped…cuts…bruises" She drew in a deep breath to try and calm her emotions "I don't know what happened, we…me and Tom…found her." The colour drained from Chakotay's face. He Grabbed hold of Belanna's arms and pulled her to her feet.

"Come on, It will be alright…Lets go back in and see what's happening" taking hold of her hand he led her back into sick bay. Belanna now had some control of her emotions, but felt anger beginning to boil up inside of her, someone had to have done this to her and she would find out who. Chakotay made Belanna sit on a bio bed and asked her if she was alright when she confirmed that she was he turned his attention to the bio bed, which was surrounded with activity.

Chakotay took a step forward so he could get a better look at Kathryn. What he saw made him grow even paler; if that was at all possible. He now understood why Belanna had been so affected. Her face alone was covered in bruises, cuts and was visibly swollen; her body wasn't in much better shape. She was deathly pale and he could still make out the tear tracks down her cheeks. She was covered in blood and he wouldn't even attempt to call what she was wearing clothing. She had only been gone for a few days, how could this happen? The image before him made him block out everything else surrounding him.

Half an hour had passed since Chakotay entered sickbay. During that time the doctor with the help of Tom Paris had finally had stabilised the Captain's condition. The doctor now had to explain to Commander Chakotay what the next steps will be.

"Commander, please come into my office." The doctor sat behind his desk and waited for the Commander to seat himself across from him.

"Doctor, is she going to be alright…what happened…what's wrong?"

"Commander, please calm down, I won't know exactly what is wrong or what happened until I get a more detailed scan." The doctor shifted in his seat "all I can tell you now is she is stable for the moment, but she needs surgery for the internal damage I have detected. After I have the information you will be the first to know. For now I need you and Miss Torres to leave sick bay until I have finished. I will call you as soon as I know anything." Chakotay took one last glace at the Captain and left sickbay followed by Belanna.

After what seemed like hours of continuous pacing, followed by sitting and then pacing again Chakotay finally got the call he had been waiting for and practically ran all the way to sickbay. He was in no way prepared for what the doctor had to tell him.

"Commander the Captain suffered from internal bleeding, broken ribs which punctured her left lung, which have all been taken care of. She also had a broken arm, severe bruising and several wounds to the skin which have caused her to loose a lot of blood, again this has all been taken care of and isn't a problem. However the evidence suggests that she was beaten rather brutally and repeatedly. There is also evidence of…" the doctor paused and took a deep breath " evidence pointing to rape." Chakotay immediately jumped out of his seat and began pacing, the pain evident on his face.

"Unfortunately that isn't all…I found a several drugs present in her system and I cannot distinguish their purpose, but considering her other injuries they were probably used to induce pain or maybe effect the mind" Chakotay glanced at the EMH and saw his own pain reflected back at him. The doctor had never looked so human.

"Is…Is she going to be alright?" Chakotay whispered as he closed his eyes to prevent tears from falling.

"Physically she is fine…mentally and emotionally we will have to see when she gains consciousness, I'm going to allow her to awaken naturally to prevent her body going into shock, when that will be is up to her" The doctor stood and placed a hand on Chakotay's shoulder "I am going to deactivate myself for now" with that the doctor vanished from sight leaving behind a traumatised Chakotay.

_How could this have happened? Why didn't anyone notice? I should have known…Oh Kathryn please be okay._ Chakotay quickly informed Tuvok of the situation and told him to begin investigating. Pulling up a chair beside her bed he sank into it and reached out to grab her hand. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb:

"Kathryn if you can here me, we are going to find whoever did this to you, I swear it!" With that said he finally allowed the tears he had been holding back to fall.


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors note: Thank you thank you thank you for the nice review smile. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

_Please R&R.

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_

The stall was full of glistening jewellery, of all shapes and sizes. The central piece was a magnificent turquoise colour but was brilliantly clear. It immediately drew Kathryn's attention and she couldn't help but admire its delicate beauty. After about ten minutes of longingly gazing at the piece, she left the stall and wondered further into the market place. She sensed someone watching her and immediately spun around to investigate her suspicion. When she didn't see anything suspicious and began to stroll towards her destination, tut-ing to herself.

"_Must be getting paranoid." She muttered under her breath. She continued on her path but still couldn't shake the feeling of being followed. The hairs on the back of her neck were on end and she had to suppress a shiver. Looking over her shoulder she could only see the small gathering of people bartering at stalls. Without turning back around she took a step forward, colliding with a solid presence that was in front of her. She began to stumble but was held up by a pair of arms belonging to the person in front of her. She watched as her com badge fell to the ground. As she looked up at the person she muttered an apology along with a thank you and tried to bend down to collect her com badge. She felt the grip around her arms tighten and watched as the person's foot destroyed the com badge. _

_Kathryn snapped her head up angrily and fiercely tried to pull from his grip._

"_What the hell are you doing?" she asked angrily. The more she struggled the tighter the hold became; she started to feel panic, which grew even stronger when she felt a hand holding a piece of cloth over her mouth. Reality began to become a blur as she breathed in the chemical on the cloth. She felt as if energy was being forcibly ripped from her body and instantly began to go limp. Quickly loosing rational thought she did the only thing that came to her head. She screamed._

A piercing scream rang through sick bay, making Chakotay jump awake on the instant alert. Kathryn bolted up on the bio bed, panic visible in her eyes. She took in her surroundings, glancing quickly from one object to the next. As comprehension dawned on her she immediately relaxed. Confusion was taking over the panic now, _why the hell am I in sickbay,_ she thought. Chakotay appeared at her side unexpectedly and mde her jump of the bio bed, away from him. Kathryn became confused by her own action and shook her head as if to clear it. All the effort left her drained and she began to slide down the wall, until a pair of arms saved her; she immediately stiffened at the contact.

The Doctor lifted the Captain back onto the bio bed, but did not miss the fright which flickered through her eyes.

"Captain, it's the Doctor." When she didn't respond he continued, "Captain, do you recognise me, do you know where you are?" Kathryn's eyes felt heavy and began to close. She barely heard the doctor's voice as she lost consciousness.

Kathryn opened her eyes for a second time that day. Stretching lazily, whilst opening her eyes she was immediately surprised to find herself in sick bay. She yawned at sat up swinging her legs over the side. She felt completely refreshed and couldn't hold back a smile. Standing up slowly she became aware of a chair nearby the bio bed. Chakotay was asleep. She chuckled and tapped his shoulder.

"Chakotay…Chakotay, wake up!" she said in a calming voice. She heard him mumble something unrecognisable and then lost patience. She shook his shoulders harder this time and watched as his eyes snapped open.

"Kathryn…are you ok?" his voice was full of concern and confused her slightly but she didn't let it show.

"I'm fine…well actually I'm feeling great." She chuckled, and then grew sombre, "I am slightly confused though: number one why am I in sick bay and number two I thought you were taking shore leave." The Doctor overheard the conversation and decided to but in.

"Ah Captain nice to she you awake, tell me what is the last thing you remember." The Doctor led her back to the bio bed and sat her down. Picking up a tricorder he scanned her, whilst she was answering.

"I was in my ready room, getting ready for my shore leave." She paused and began to worry, "why?"

"Captain, that was over a week ago." The Doctor said as calmly as possible. An array of emotion passed through her eyes: confusion, shock and disbelief. Kathryn looked between the two people in front of her.

"Is this some kind of joke…" she laughed, but the serious expressions on there faces stopped it, "What…How…what happened, what's wrong with my memory?" she asked calmly.

Chakotay began to explain the events: Belanna and Tom finding her, bringing her to sick bay. The Doctor took over and explained the various injuries she had suffered. Kathryn began to shake her head in disbelief.

"No, I would remember that, I mean surely you can't be serious." The doctor handed her a PADD, containing the evidence. After reading it she stared at her hands, not wanting to look either of them in the eye.

"Can I go back to my quarters?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

"Captain I don't think th…" The doctor began but was cut off.

"Doctor, despite having lost some memory I am fine, now I want to go back to my quarters." She snapped and glared at him.

"Captain, I really don't think that is a good idea. You really shouldn't be on your own right now." The Doctor said in a compassionate voice.

"Doctor, I will accompany her if that will help." Chakotay interrupted, he looked at Kathryn and she gave him a slight smile. The doctor was still reluctant but eventually agreed, as long as she wore a monitor and came for a check up in the morning. She was officially off duty on medical leave for a week.

The walk to Kathryn's quarters was quiet. Kathryn thanked Chakotay for breaking her from sickbay, which made them both laugh slightly and lifted some of the tension. They finally made it to her quarters and she let Chakotay in.

"Would you like anything?" She said whilst walking to the replicator.

"Kathryn." He said in a gentle whisper. Her eyes filled with tears and she clutched to the side of the replictor, her knuckles turning white with the pressure. Chakotay was at her side in less than five strides and turned her around to face him. Kathryn fell into his arms and finally let the tears fall.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the review. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Please R&R

Thanks

x

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Time didn't seem important to Chakotay. All he knew was that his best friend was hurting and needed help. He held Kathryn for what seemed like hours and in this time there was nothing but her. When she fell limp in his arms, he gently picked her up and laid her in her bed, which had already been turned out. After pulling off her shoes he pulled the blanket over her form and tucked her in lovingly. Noticing a strand of hair in her face, he whipped it away and finally made his way into her living area.

As he sank down on the couch, he desperately tried to get his mind around the events of the day. No matter how much he tried he couldn't figure out a logical answer, _that's why we have Tuvok,_ he thought to himself. His exhaustion finally crept up on him and he let his heavy eyes close, drifting into a deep sleep. So deep that he didn't notice when a form left through the doors.

"No…no…please stop I can't…ah…please stop." Muffled cries filled Kathryn's bedroom as she tossed and turned in her bed. Her mind caught in a state of turmoil and darkness. The only thing that was clear was the face of a man and the words that he spoke. His dark hair and angry eyes filled her vision, until there was nothing but him. _Turn off internal sensors; turn off internal sensors, _the voice of the head repeated insistently. Kathryn bolted up in her bed, flinging her legs over the side and stood ramrod straight instantly. Her eyes were lifeless, completely trancelike and glazed, as she stared straight ahead of herself. Nothing mattered but the voice and its instruction. With that in her mind she walked slowly out of her quarters and into the outside corridor.

As it was quite late at night, the corridors were deserted, making it easy for Kathryn to pass unnoticed all the way to engineering, the voice still constantly invading her thoughts. Moving towards the console he needed she began following the instructions given to her.

Belanna couldn't sleep, her emotions were still very raw and she didn't fancy going to sleep, only to be woken up by a recurrence of the day's events in a horrifying, lifelike nightmare. She knew that Captain was alright now and that she had returned to her quarters, with Chakotay to look after her. This was why it was so surprising when she walked into engineering to find the Captain busily working at a console, in nightclothes none the less.

"Captain." She called out with surprise in her voice. When she got no answer she quickly moved forward. As soon as she saw her face, she noticed her unblinking eyes and immediately new she was sleep walking. Not knowing what to do, she gently called out to her again. When that didn't work she placed her hands on her friends' shoulders and tried to guide her away from the console. Without warning the Captain spun around quickly and the fear present in her eyes nearly made Belanna burst into tears. Before Belanna could do anything, Kathryn scurried away into the corner, sinking down to the floor whilst hugging her knees tightly to her chest, rocking backwards and forwards.

Startled from his sleep by a un-nerving nightmare Chakotay made his way to the doors of Kathryn's bedroom to make sure she was ok. His heart leapt out of his chest when he noticed the bed was empty. He quickly asked the computer her whereabouts:

"Captain Janeway is in engineering." The computers dull feminine voice answered. Chakotay made his way to engineer at warp speed. As he ran through the doors, he noticed Kathryn's huddled form in the corner and Belanna stood, obviously shocked and confused, trying to console Kathryn.

"Belanna, what happened?" He asked calmly and quietly. Belanna turned to face him then looked back towards Kathryn.

"I just came in here to finish some work and then I saw the Captain working at the console. I called out to her and when she didn't respond I moved around to face her. I think…I think she was sleepwalking. When I tried to guide her away from the console she ran off."

"Ok Belanna, you check to make sure she hasn't done anything with the console. I will look after Kathryn." Chakotay ordered gently.

"Okay, I'll get on it." Chakotay slowly moved to crouch before Kathyrn, making sure he didn't touch her in anyway.

"Kathryn, its Chakotay, can you here me." Kathryn looked up at him quickly before averting her gaze. "Kath…"

"Please…"she cried out, "I can't…please stop…please." Her pleading words echoed around the room, intensifying the pain in the tone. Chakotay turned to see tears falling out off Belanna's eyes; he didn't even notice his own. Without warning Kathryn's body slumped to the ground, consciousness evading her again.

"Chakotay, she has deactivated internal sensors and has blocked any attempt to reactivate them." Disbelief and shock was present on both their faces. Finally snapping out of his trance Chakotay picked Kathryn up and headed towards the exit.

"Belanna, do what you can to get the sensors back on, I'll be in sickbay."

"Is she…will she be alright." She whispered quietly.

"I hope so." With that said he made his way to sickbay.

Kathryn awoke to find herself in sickbay…again. _What the hell is going on,_ her mind screamed, _I'll be dammed if I'm staying in here any longer._ She jumped up angrily and marched forward, _just who the hell do they think they are!_ _I have a few choice words for them when I see them._ She was so lost in thought she didn't recognise the sizzle of a force field and before she could do anything she walked straight into the force field trapping her in her own sick bay.

TBC…

Please tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Author Note: Thanks for all the review (im definatly addicted lol). i hope you enjoy this next chapter, tell me what you think.

PLEASE R&R

Thanks

x

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The Doctor re-materialised in sickbay. He had asked the computer to activate him when the Captain awoke. Turning to face his patient he was met by a very intimidating death glare. The Captain had her hands on her hips, which along with the glare made him fear for his holographic life.

"Doctor, what the hell is going on here?" She growled at him, "Why am I being treated like a prisoner in my own sickbay? I want an explanation and I want one now!" After visibly swallowing, the Doctor regained his composure to answer her.

"Captain would you please calm down. You were found sleepwalking and…" the doctor hesitated. How could he explain this?

"And!" she snapped, clearly loosing all patience with this situation. "Doctor what is happening to me, the last thing I remember is returning to quarters. And now you are telling me I was sleepwalking. What did I do?" Before the Doctor could answer, the doors slid open, revealing a very anxious first officer. Chakotay moved further into the room,

"Doctor how is she?" he asked.

"She is perfectly fine. You know I am able to talk for myself." Anger was evident in her voice along with hurt. "Chakotay, tell me what is going on…that is an order." Chakotay looked towards the floor then steadily lifted his eyes to hers.

"Kathryn…Belanna found you in engineering. You accessed a console and deactivated internal sensors. You also encrypted pretty much everything, preventing us from turning them back on." Kathryn's face fell as she slumped back onto the bio bed. "You were in a trance-like state; when Belanna tried to touch you, you woke up but it was as if you were somewhere else. You panicked then lost consciousness." He said in a voice fulled with concearn. Chakotay wanted to go to her, so he deactivated the force field and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"So what, now you think I'm trying to sabotage my own ship! I…"

"Actually Captain I believe you were being controlled." Chakotay and Kathryn's heads shot up at that comment.

"Controlled." They both said at once. Kathryn's head fell into her hands. "Explain Doctor." She commanded.

"When I first found the drugs in your system, I didn't now what the effects were. But now considering what has happened I have a theory. Obviously one of them was used to repress memories, the others seem to have interfered with your brain patterns, creating three different types consciousness; I suppose you could say. When you are fully awake, you are your normal self, apart from the memory loss. Then there is semi consciousness, where the repressed memories resurface and you believe you are there again, reliving what happened. When you are fully asleep, your brain waves change slightly, I have detected a completely different pattern emerge, it repeats itself constantly. It is very similar to a communication signal."

Sickbay was silent for a few minutes as the occupants tried to digest what had just been said. Kathryn was scared, confused and more than angry."

"So they have actually violated me in more ways then one, they have took my control, to use me against my own ship and crew. Using me as a tool for their own purposes." She laughed bitterly, "What better way to get control of a ship then by controlling its Captain." She began to pace around the bio bed.

"Captain please calm down, otherwise I will have to sedate you."

"Oh, that's a great idea Doctor, that way they can control me some more and this time, maybe I'll set self destruct…" Chakotay shocked Kathryn my grabbing her arms rather forcefully.

"Kathryn, stop it! We will find whoever did this and we will get you back to normal, alright!" She nodded in response and he loosened his grip, "This crew will not let anything happen to Voyager and we will defiantly do all that is within our power to help you."

"Chakotay…I…I" Kathryn began but couldn't continue as her throat began to close up with emotion. Taking a deep breath she continued, "I hand command over to you. I don't want to risk anything happening so I think it will be best to keep me detained."

"I will need to monitor you Captain, so you will remain in sickbay. I will set the forcefield, just in case." The Doctor announced. She barely acknowledged his comment. When she felt Chakotay's gaze on her she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"Kathryn we will get through this." He whispered. His voice was filled with so much emotion that she nearly burst into tears. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it to try and give reassurance. A COMM badge broke into the heavy atmosphere of the room.

"Tuvok to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here, what is it Tuvok?" Chakotay kept his eyes on Kathryn throughout the whole conversation.

"Sir, First Prime Kallibyi has requested to speak with you."

"I'll be right there Tuvok, Chakotay out." Finally tearing his eyes from Kathryn's he reluctantly walked towards the exit.

"I will come back later, OK."

Kathryn nodded her head as he left and kept her eyes focussed on the wall in front of her. She desperately tried to clear her mind, but the turmoil was fighting back with a vengeance. When it all became too much she collapsed back to lie on the bio bed. She vaguely heard the force field being activated.

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Ok so this chapter gives you an explanation, you finally get to know the evil evil aliens purpose and motive! lol. Again thaks for the reviews, they make me sssooo happy. Enjoy.

PLEASE R&R

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Chakotay shakily sat behind the desk in the ready room, preparing himself for a conversation with First Prime Kallibyi. He needed to concentrate fully in order to help Kathryn, but his thoughts would not let go of the worry he held, not only for Kathryn but for the whole of Voyager. He prayed that the First Prime would have some answers for the questions swirling in his mind and that she could help Kathryn. He turned on the computer console.

"First Prime Kallibyi, you wished to speak to me." The frail woman gave him a slight smile, but hidden behind it was a great deal of concearn.

"Commander, how is Kathryn?" She asked, genuinely concerned for her welfare. Kallibyi and Kathryn had got along remarkably well and had quickly become friends during the trade negations.

"I take it you have received our Doctor's report." Chakotay sighed and ran his hands through his hair whilst speaking, when she nodded an affirmative he continued, "I believe she is handling the situation as best as possible." Kallibyi gave a sad smile and looked down at her clasped hands,

"Kathryn is a strong woman…" Her voice caught slightly and Chakotay could see her struggle to keep her emotions in check, "I can't apologise enough for what has happened."

"It was hardly your fault." Chakotay gave her a reassuring smile before asking the questions he wanted to ask, "Do you have news?" The concerned friend on the screen quickly disappeared to be replaced the First Prime mask. _Just like a certain Captain, _he thought to himself.

"Yes…as you already know, a decade ago our government was split and continually fought for dominance. The reason they were split was because of a difference in opinion; before now you didn't know what that opinion was. Part of the past government believed it was necessary to procure technology, by any means; they didn't care if it harmed others as long as it was a benefit. The others, including myself, were completely against that idea. Of course my part of the government won the fight and the others were politely asked to retire."

"So you believe this is the reason they took Captain Janeway." Chakotay asked.

"I do not believe that is the motivation Commander, I know." She took a deep breath, "When my government gained power, the others were not exactly pleased with our decisions. We felt it was unnecessary to steal in order to become more advanced technologically, we believe in a natural progression, rather than a stolen one. It is how we became advanced medically. Anyway, a group was formed; the Fraine. They took it upon themselves to claim technology; they killed and destroyed anything in their path."

"First Prime, why were we not informed of this group, if we had of known it could have been avoided." Chakotay stated rather angrily.

"That is just the thing, after several attacks made on other travellers; we were finally on to them. It was after that they completely disappeared, as far as we knew they didn't exist anymore. Obviously Voyager was a target they couldn't miss. The drugs they used on your Captain were a last resort; they have recently been created and are in the testing stages. They are extremely intelligent and have no morals at all, they will do anything to get what they want; in this case your ship.

"If they had the drugs then why torture her in such a way?" Chakotay asked, knowing and fearing what the answer would be.

"Because they could." She replied simply. "Commander I have my best scientists working on a reverse for the drug, but it is a slow process. I assure you they will not stop until they find it, of that I will make sure." Her determination was clearly shown on her features and made Chakotay believe every word. "I have my special security force working along side of yours; I will do all that I can to assist you. I give you my word as First Prime."

"Thank you, I speak on behalf of all my crew, thank you."

"You are more than welcome. Please be sure to take precautions, they are ruthless and unpredictable and we have no ships present at the moment to assist you should you need it." She stood and bowed, "Send my best wishes to Kathryn."

The communication cut off and left Chakotay alone to digest the new information. After ten minutes of silent pondering he called Tuvok to the ready room to relay the information. They would be more than ready if anything should happen.

Kathryn didn't know how long she had been staring at the wall for, however she was sure she could describe it in great detail to anyone who asked. The only break she had had was when the doctor tried to insist that she sleep and she was adamant that she wouldn't be doing that anytime soon. Even with the force field in place she felt threatened and she didn't want to put Voyager at any risk. If she did she wasn't sure if she could deal with the guilt that would cause her.

Pulling herself into a sitting position, she studied the room around her. The Doctor had deactivated himself shortly after their argument, which she was grateful for, she didn't have the strength to argue with him anymore. At least this way she could get some peace.

Kathryn suddenly had the feeling that she was being watched, the hairs on the back of her neck had stood on end and her instincts were screaming danger. He eyes darted around the room trying to discover the cause, but she couldn't she anything. Even so the feeling didn't leave her and she didn't want to be alone anymore.

"Computer activate EMH"

"The EMH is temporarily unavailable." The feminine voice of the computer announced.

"What! Why?" exclaimed Kathryn.

"That information is unavailable." Upon hearing this Kathryn began to panic slightly, when she heard the force field deactivate her panic intensified. Carefully edging forward, Kathryn's mind began to process what was going on. She made it past where the force field once sat. Her pace increased as she headed towards the console, before she could make it she collided with thin air, she felt hands grab her shoulders. In the space before her a large, well muscled humanoid male flickered into existence, his grip on her arms tightened as he appeared out of nowhere. As she looked upward to face the intruder she screamed.

TBC...

Please help me with the creative process by leaving reviews. They inspire me. :)


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, all I can say is that exams are evil lol. This was kind of rushed, so sorry. Anyway I hope you enjoy :D Oh and thank you for the reviews, they make me extremely happy:D.

PLEASE R&R

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* * *

A large, grubby hand slammed over her mouth, muffling the screams that tore from her throat and cutting her lip in the process. The blow also left Kathryn feeling disoriented, but she fought to remain conscious; she couldn't loose control, Voyager depended on it. She struggled desperately against the bruising grip on her face and arms, but the grip only tightened, making stubborn tears fill her eyes and trickle down her cheeks. She found that her strength had abandoned her and stilled in the intruders arms as a hypospray was roughly pressed against her neck, releasing the contents into her bloodstream.

Kathryn stared in horror as her body completely disobeyed her orders and slumped ungracefully to the floor. A malicious laugh echoed around the room causing traumatic memories to resurface. She immediately recognised the alien man in front of her and dread filled her whole spirit. The man was the leader of the group the Fraine, the man who constantly and unremorsefully beat and violated her body and mind repeatedly. Horror overcame her as she realised he was here to overtake Voyager.

"We meet again Captain Janeway." His horse voice sent unwelcome shivers down her spine, which did not go unnoticed by her captor, "I enjoyed our last meeting tremendously…defiantly enjoyable. Maybe we could repeat it." He slowly ran his hand through her hair before grabbing a handful and dragging her into a sitting position, leaning her against the wall. "Thank you for the help with the sensors, by the way. We could never have got this far without you."

Kathryn's eyes went wide as an overwhelming amount of guilt coursed through her body, wreaking havoc on her already raw emotions. Another hypospray pressed against neck before she even saw him move. As it began to take effect, she felt her mind slowly giving away, slipping through the last of her defences. Her whole vision and whole purpose focussed on the man in front of her, all that mattered were his orders. The tiny voice that was Kathryn was ignored as it pleaded to be heard over the intruders influence.

"Stand up." The alien ordered forcefully. Kathryn quickly stood and stared vacantly ahead. Her eyes never blinking as she obeyed his command. A triumphant smile spread across the aliens' features as he inwardly praised his success. _Now for stage two of the plan, _he thought.

The man stood before Kathryn, his height making her appear smaller than she already was. Still she stared ahead, unblinking, waiting for instruction. The Fraine leader allowed his eyes to roam her body before speaking.

"Transport the bridge officers to the brig." Kathryn headed towards the console, quickly and efficiently entering command after command to follow her order, after finally entering the last command to initiate the transport required, she straightened her stance and returned to her trance like state, facing the Fraine leader, as a smug grin appeared on his face.

Commander Chakotay sat restlessly in the command chair on the bridge. He was still unsettled about the information First Prime Kallibyi had provided. He was extremely worried about Kathryn, not to mention the safety of Voyager. Extra security had been placed around the ship as a precaution, but they had yet to get sensors functioning again, which left the ship vulnerable. He was about to request a report before the familiar sensation of a transporter beam took hold of him.

Chakotay scanned the area around him as he re-materialised, noticing to his own horror and disbelief that her was in the brig. As if being in the brig wasn't bad enough he noticed that all the senior staff were in the brig also. Instantly on alert he peered out of the force field, fully expecting to find an intruder with some form of weapon, but the space was empty. The senior staff all had looks of confusion on their faces as they took in their surroundings. Before Chakotay could speak a ship wide hail was activated.

"All hands this is the Captain. Please report to your quarters, this is a medical quarantine. The Doctor informs me it is just a precaution so there is no need to worry. I will get back to you shortly. Captain out."

Chakotay immediately tapped his COMM badge receiving nothing but static. He shared a concerned look with Tuvok as the Vulcan tried his and received the same response.

"I believe…" Tuvok began, before the doors to the brig hissed open, alerting the officers to someone's presence. A tall, muscular man strode arrogantly into the room, eyeing all of the officers in the brig as he stood in front of the force field.

"Commander Chakotay, I am Failen, leader of the Fraine." Inside Chakotay's heart rate rapidly increased at the mention of the rebel group. One thought came to his head, _Kathryn._ Outside his neutral mask remained steadily in place, only his eyes betrayed what he was feeling.

"How did you get on board Voyager and what do you want?" Chakotay questioned angrily. He didn't like the sinking feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach as he waited for the answer.

"Commander, it really sounds as if you believe I am unwelcome. I have the full permission of your Captain to be here." Chakotay's jaw clenched at the mention of Kathryn and his hands balled into fists. Anger was radiating from every inch of skin as it reddened. Failen noticed his reaction and an evil laugh permeated the air. The alien turned his head toward the door, "Come!"

Time slowed as Chakotay watched the doors slid open. Kathryn glided across the room to stand before Failen; her eyes remained focussed ahead of her. The reality of what was happening hit Chakotay full force. _This can't be happening,_ his mind screamed.

"Kathryn…" he said quietly. She remained trance like, appearing to have unheard him. The alien man laughed again, causing Chakotay to dig his fingernails into his palms to try and prevent himself from throwing himself into the force field to ring the aliens' neck.

"She cannot hear you Commander. She only listens to me now. I own her along with this ship and I must say she is quite a nice bonus." The alien ran his hands up and down Kathryn's body, "wouldn't you agree?"

Witnessing the scene before him, Chakotay finally lost his remaining control. Before he could attempt to throw himself through the force field, Tuvok's and Tom's hands grabbed him from behind. Chakotay snapped his head around to face the two men, he was about to snap at them until he noticed his own anger mirrored on Tom's face and in Tuvok's eyes. He calmed himself down before turning to Belanna and Harry. Harry was holding onto Belanna, both of then had tears welling in their eyes. Taking a deep breath Chakotay glared at the alien.

"It is simple Commander, I am in charge and I decide your fate. Co-operate and I will keep the injury to a minimum."

"I take it your plan isn't going quite as you expected it to." Chakotay spat bitterly.

"On the contraire, it is going better than I could have expected. You Captain is more than co-operative." The alien leered at Kathryn before continuing, "I will be back in one hour to discuss your level of co-operation." The alien turned on his heal but froze as he took his first step, turning to face Kathryn directly, "Transport my team on board!" With that said he marched out of the room, followed quickly by Kathryn. The silence remained in the brig for as the doors hissed shut.

TBC...

Hope you liked it :D Please review, I need my motivation renewed :)


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Sorry it has taken a while I havent had a chance to write for a while. Anyway here is chapter 8 I really hope you like it. Oh and thanks for your reviews, without them I would probably take even longer to update :D

PLEASE R&R

Thanks

x

* * *

An hour passed by so slowly the occupants of the brig wondered if it passed at all. The time was spent mostly in silence, none of the senior staff knowing what to say. Chakotay paced angrily back and forth in the tiny space for the first half an hour before B'Elanna angrily stated that if he didn't stop she would make him. Everyone was on edge due to the Captain's condition and their locked up state.

Failen had not been to the brig in all that time, which led the senior staff to believe he was busy trying to take over the whole ship. Thankfully because of the command transfer he didn't have the command codes, making it much more difficult to run Voyager's systems fully.

Chakotay desperately tried to control his thoughts, forcing the concern, worry and anger to the back of his mind. This allowed him to concentrate fully on the situation at hand to try and determine the best course of action. Just as his mind began to formulate a plan the doors opening, demanded his attention. Failen arrogantly strode to the front of the force field, flanked by two fairly intimidating guards. Behind them Kathryn remained in her trance like state, unseeing all around her.

One of the guards quickly stepped forward, whilst the Failen and the other raised their weapons threateningly. He deactivated the force field and grabbed Chakotay's arm, roughly propelling him forward to the outside of the force field, landing directly in front of Failen, who instantly crouched placing his weapon on the back of Chakotay's head. The same guard who deactivated the force field reactivated it just as quickly.

From behind the force field the senior staff watched in horror as Chakotay was roughly forced to his knees by the two guards.

"Commander we need the command codes for this vessel. Give me them and no one will get hurt." Failen stated flatly as if bored with the whole process. Chakotay looked up at him with non disguised contempt.

"No!" he stated firmly, leaving no room for compromise. Failen snarled before crashing his knee into Chakotay's face, snapping his bone and drawing blood in the process. Shouts of protest echoed throughout the room, coming from the mouths of B'Elanna, Tom and Harry. Chakotay glanced at Kathryn and was sure he saw something flicker in her eyes before they returned to emptiness.

"You were saying." Failen snapped.

"I will not give you the command codes!" Failen's face twisted into a scowl. He grabbed a handful of Chakotay's head and yanked it to force him to face the force field.

"You may not care about your safety, but what about theirs?" Failen asked smugly whilst gesturing to the senior staff. When Chakotay remained silent he continued, clearly very pleased with himself. "Could you live with their life's on your head because it would be your fault. Is this ship really worth their life's?"

"I would destroy this vessel before I hand it over to the likes of you and all and I mean all of this crew would understand!"

"Very well, let's test that theory." He peered into the cell before pointing to B'Elanna. One of the guards deactivated the force field and dragged B'Elanna out. When the force field was reactivated he returned to his original position.

B'Elanna willingly knelt next to Chakotay and grasped his fingers to try and give support. Her eyes shot daggers at the guards before the anger and hate deepened when they fell onto Failen. Failen pressed the end of his phaser like weapon against B'Elanna's forehead, she squeezed her eyes shut expecting the weapon to fire, when it didn't she reopened them.

Failen looked thoughtful for several moments before a vicious smile spread across his face making him look even more sinister. He looked at the guards and let out a malicious laugh.

"I just thought of a brilliant plan. Why should I kill you when I have your Captain here willing to follow my every order?" He paused for a moment, "How ironic, you're very loyal, strong willed Captain who would die for you all in an instant is going to be the one to pull the trigger." B'Elanna and Chakotay both shared shocked looks, both knowing that if they came through this Kathryn would feel tremendous guilt over such an action. There thoughts were accompanied with startled gasps from Tom and Harry and a raised eyebrow from Tuvok.

Failen ordered Kathryn to step forward and immediately handed her the weapon he held.

"Will you give me the command codes?" Failen asked again looking directly at Chakotay.

Chakotay let out a shaky breath before answering; "No!" as he said it B'Elanna tightened her grip on his fingers, trying to show that she understood. Failen stepped back with a wicked grin on his face.

"Kathryn, kill her."

Kathryn's body stepped in front of B'Elanna's aiming the weapon at her head. B'Elanna looked directly into her Captain's face with nothing but the greatest admiration and respect. She watched as Kathryn's finger tightened slightly on the trigger.

"I forgive you Captain." B'Elanna said softly, never taking her eyes of Kathryn's face. She noticed a lone tear falling down her Captain's cheek. Before anyone knew what was happening Kathryn speedily lifted her weapon and took down both of the guards. With a surprising grace she spun and fired again the weapons fire hitting Failen directly in the face. His lifeless body slumped to the floor in a heap.

Several seconds of shocked silence filled the room. B'Elanna's form sagged in relief while Chakotay shakily stood on his feet. He took a step forward.

"Kathryn." He asked unsurely, whilst B'Elanna got up and deactivated the force field releasing the rest of the senior staff. Everyone's attention was now riveted to the women whose back was turned to them. Taking another step forward Chakotay repeated her name.

Slowly Kathryn turned around to face them. Blood was flowing from her nose and eyes; she swayed heavily on her feet. Forcing his brain to function Chakotay ran forward to catch her just before she fell.

"Tom!" Chakotay's shout brought the others out of their dazes. Tom ran forward to kneel beside Kathryn's unconscious form. Chakotay placed her gently on the floor. Harry had already retrieved the med kit stored near the console and quickly passed it to Tom who practically ripped it apart to get inside.

Without taking his eyes off Kathryn Chakotay issued orders; "Tuvok, B'Elanna find out how many intruders are on board and apprehend them. Collect whoever you need…"

"Chakotay!" Tom shouted, "We have got to get to sick bay, now! The Captain is dying!"

"Harry, site to site…now!" Chakotay ordered. The transporter beam took hold and the brig disappeared from view.

TBC…

Please, please, please, please review...I need motivation :D


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, I love them all. Not to mention the very intimidating threats from Tayababy lol :D You can be very scary when you want to be lol. Anyway sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy and remember review :D

PLEASE R&R

Thanks

x

Tom, Chakotay and Kathryn re-materialised on the floor of sickbay, Chakotay cradling Kathryn's still form in his arms whilst Tom was using a hypospray from the medical kit he had in his hands.

"Chakotay get her on the biobed. Computer, activate EMH." Tom ordered without even a hint of the desperation that shone in his eyes in his voice. Moving quickly towards the biobed where his Captain was, he grabbed a tray of medical instruments and walked quickly to her side, preparing another hypospray on his way. Turning his head expecting to see the Doctor, surprise and worry waged a war on his features. He glanced at the frozen man who stood stiffly on the other side of the biobed.

"Chakotay we need the Doctor, now!" He demanded sharply, hoping the edge to his voice brought the man out of his daze. Luckily for Tom it worked straight away and he immediately saw Chakotay's command training kicking into gear with an almost audible snap. Forcing his feelings to the furthest recesses of his mind, Chakotay commanded his body to run to the console, his fingers immediately set to work, entering commands and searching for the problem, what he found caused his heart to stop beating momentarily; an unfamiliar encryption code was completely blocking the Doctors programme.

Alarms started sounding around sickbay echoing in Chakotay's ears causing him to look towards his living nightmare. Tom was frantically working around Kathryn's lifeless form, desperately trying to stabilise her life sign with the limited medical knowledge he had. The alarms stopped sounding but Tom never ceased his work as he spoke.

"Chakotay we need the Doctor, I can't keep this up for much longer."

"Chakotay to B'Elanna. I need you in sickbay, now!" Chakotay shouted into his COMM badge after smacking the device. Tom finally looked up at his commanding officer; Chakotay saw the question in his eyes and answered quietly. "There is an encryption code blocking The Docs programme, I can't activate him." Tom looked stricken and swore under his breath whilst casting a glance to Kathryn's face, he took a deep breath and steadied his trembling hands before setting to work again.

B'Elanna sprinted through the sickbay doors before they had even fully opened, coming to a stop just beside Chakotay. Without taking his eyes from the scene in front of him he spoke, his voice devoid of any emotion.

"We need the Doctor online. Get on it!" He ordered. B'Elanna instantly went to work, entering commands like only an expert could. After what seemed like hours but was in reality only a few minutes the Doctors form flickered into existence for a second before disappearing from sight. Alarms sounded again with Tom's voice yelling above the sound.

"Were loosing her." His voice was filled with panic, but Chakotay barely heard as he mentally begged Kathryn to stay with them. A Klingon curse was quickly followed by the Doctors opening statement.

"Please state the…" The EMH began before the alarms entered his mind; he immediately went into action, issuing orders that Chakotay rarely understood when he was fully aware. B'Elanna ungracefully slumped against the console in mild relief, fully aware that if that Captain was to survive the Doctor was the only man for the job.

The alarms finally died down, the Doctor only pausing briefly to ask his audience to leave, stating that he would inform them of the Captain's condition as soon as he knew. B'Elanna placed her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, applying a gentle pressure to turn him around and gently led him from the room, through the corridors and finally to his quarters.

He fell back onto his sofa when pushed and B'Elanna immediately sat beside him, her hand never leaving his shoulder, his anchor to the outside world. The silence surrounded them both emphasising the comfort of each others presence. Matching tears escaped both of their eyes, blurring the room around them.

"Tuvok to Chakotay." Tuvok's voice snapped Chakotay back into focus, tapping his COMM badge Chakotay answered the hail.

"Chakotay here, what is it Tuvok."

"Sir, we have been successful in apprehending the other intruders and have placed them in the brig. The crew have been released from their quarters and have returned to duty."

"Good. Tuvok contact First Prime Kallibyi and inform her of the situation."

"Yes, sir." Tuvok paused momentarily, "What is the Captain's condition?" Chakotay could swear he heard concern in the Vulcan's voice.

"We don't know yet, you will be informed as soon as we know. Chakotay out." He tapped his COMM badge again before taking a shuddering breath. He rubbed his face with his hands before warily turning to face B'Elanna, clasping her hand in his.

"Are you ok?" She asked quietly, her voice wavering slightly. He nodded slowly whilst taking another deep breath, to try and calm his turbulent emotions. "Do you have a medial kit in here?"

"Why?" Chakotay asked his voice clearly showing his confusion at the question. B'Elanna smiled slightly before placing her fingers on his forehead; he winced and pulled back from her touch.

"Well." She said impatiently. He pointed towards the bathroom. A minute later she came out with the kit in hand. She quickly healed all that she could see and administered a painkiller. "So…how are you really?"

Chakotay chuckled quietly at her perceptiveness. "When did you begin to read me so well?" He questioned teasingly.

"Hey, what are best friends for." He smiled but sobered quickly; he glanced up at her face and squeezed her hand.

"How are you?" She looked away quickly, but changed her mind and looked back at him. Agitated with herself, she jumped up and began to pace angrily.

"I'm damn angry. What they did…" She grabbed an empty cup off the desk and threw it at the wall, the thumping sound it created calmed her slightly and she sunk back down next to Chakotay. "I know it wasn't her Chak, if that's what you mean and they didn't really do anything to me. I just know that when the Captain gets through this…"

"If…"Chakotay interrupted. The anger that had evaporated from her before now reappeared and she grabbed his slumped shoulders and shook him.

"When Chakotay, when!" She said dramatically. He looked up into her determined eyes and finally the dam broke. He fell into her arms sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh God…Kathryn."

TBC...

Please review, ya know ya wanna. Just press the button!


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: I'm on a roll at the min, words are just flowing out lol. This chapter has quite a bit of Chakotay and B'Elanna friendship in it :D As well as discussion of J/C. Hope ya like it!**

**PLEASE R&R**

**Thanks **

**x**

After ensuring that the intruders were secure in the brig Tuvok headed straight to the ready room to contact First Prime Kallibyi and let her know of the new developments.

"Lt. Commander Tuvok. How may I be of assistance?" She asked kindly mixed in with curiosity.

"First Prime we currently have currently captured a small group of Fraine operatives…"

"What…how?" She interrupted clearly shocked with this new piece of information.

"They attempted to take control of this ship; fortunately we were able to stop their efforts. Their leader Fraine and two of his guards were killed in the incident.

"Dear Gods. You were very lucky. Is Kathryn alright?"

"I am afraid I must report that she is not. After she regained control over her mind, she lost consciousness. She is in sickbay at the moment and I have not as yet been informed of her condition." Tuvok stated unemotionally. Kallibyi was clearly shocked and it took her a few moments to regain her emotional control.

"She fought the drug…"she said in disbelief and awe, before coming to her senses again. "Would you allow me to beam on board with Dr. Traben and two security guards? The Doctor may be able to assist with Kathryn's treatment and we will take the Fraine out of you're hands."

"That would be acceptable. I shall meet you in the transporter room in an hour." Tuvok stated simply.

"Thank you. I shall see you then." Tuvok nodded in acknowledgement before disconnecting the signal. He felt very uncomfortable with the amount of effort he had to use to control his emotions, but he would to review this at a later time; right now he had work to do. He stood from the chair and walked out of the ready room.

"Ssshhh, she'll be fine Chakotay. She'll pull through this. She's a fighter and you know it!" B'Elanna said soothingly, calming him down. When he finally gained control of him self again he smiled at her sheepishly.

"Thanks B'Ela."

"No problem." She said in a voice that held affection. "You did the same for me remember."

"I'm worried about her. If…" He noticed B'Elanna's stern look and amended his sentence. "When she recovers she is going to have a lot to deal with and I am so afraid she is going to repress it, deny that anything happened and retreat into her shell. The guilt will tear her apart."

"Then we will be here for her. All of us will fight for her. Not just you. Despite how much she tries to keep us at a distance we all love her and we are not going to give up easily." She said her voice filled with passion and determination. "It is not her fault and we…and I mean all of us not just you will make her see that. I can tell you now Tom, Harry, Seven, Nelix the Doc and Tuvok will agree with everything…hell all of the crew would!"

Chakotay let her words drift over him like a balm, slowing replenishing his confidence and belief. "You're right B'Ela…as usual." They both chuckled slightly before returning to silence. I thought crossed her mind but she wasn't sure if she should voice it, taking a risk she decided to risk it.

"You really love her, don't you?" She stated whilst watching his face intently. He looked up quickly staring into her compassionate eyes. For a moment he considered not answering, but he knew he had to talk to someone and he trusted B'Elanna with his life.

"Yes." He whispered, his shoulders hunching in defeat.

"Does she know?"

"I…I don't know, I think she used to, but it's been a forbidden topic for so long that I have become an expert at hiding it." At B'Elanna's sceptical look he added. "At least from her anyway…obviously not from you. I even hid it from myself I think and then something like this happens and it all comes rushing back."

"I have known you a long time old man." She laughed before becoming serious again. "Why is it forbidden?"

"Protocol…"he said bitterly, "the command structure, the crew, the ship. The list goes on. Take you're pick."

Another silence followed allowing B'Elanna the time to process this information.

"Can I ask you something?" Chakotay nodded his consent after a moment's hesitation. "Did something happen between you two on New Earth?"

"No at least not in the way you're thinking. We became closer, I got to see the women behind the Captain's mask and let me tell you she was incredible." He smiled at the memory of the monkey, the bath tub and her garden. "I think we would have become lovers if we had just a few more days."

"I'm sorry." B'Elanna said quietly. Chakotay stopped her from continuing by shaking his head.

"No…don't be. I don't think I could have handled it if we had and she pulled back. At least this way I have her friendship, it's better than nothing."

"You should tell her Chak. If it helps at all I think she loves…"

"Tuvok to Chakotay." The COMM badge interrupted, affectively ending the conversation.

"Go ahead Tuvok."

"The First Prime is beaming on board in fifteen minutes. She is bringing a doctor who she believes will be able to assist the Captain."

"Very well Tuvok, escort them to sickbay when they arrive. I will meet them there. Chakotay out."

The two friends stood at the same time. Chakotay smiled his thanks before stepping into the corridor. B'Elanna gave his arm an affectionate squeeze before they set off in the direction of sickbay.

TBC...

Please review :D Pretty pretty please :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews :D I hope you like this next chapter. Again ideas are more then welcome!**

**PLEASE R&R**

**Thanks**

**x**

Sickbay was extremely quiet when Chakotay reluctantly strolled through the doors. B'Elanna had left him outside the doors to go to engineering in order to deal with a problem her staff couldn't seem to figure out without her. Taking a gulp of air to settle his nerves, his mind instructed his legs to move towards the biobed that held the still form of his Captain, best friend and when he allowed himself to think about it, the person he was in love with. Without any though on his part, one of his hands gripped hers.

Chakotay lowered his head so that his mouth was on level with her ear.

"Kathryn I don't know if you can hear me, but you have got to fight this." He whispered with a voice cracking with emotion. "You have to come back to me…to us." He moved back and with his free hand moved a lock of hair out of her face. It was at that moment he noticed how pale her skin had truly become and it sent a new wave of worry travelling around his body.

The Doctor watched the touching scene before him with compassion and sorrow filling his holographic eyes, which looked more human then his programme suggested. This whole situation was very hard on him as no matter what he did he couldn't come up with a solution and he hated the fact that he was going to be the one who told Chakotay the prognosis, not to mention the fact that he couldn't help his Captain; a woman he respected greatly and who he classed as one of his closest friends.

"Commander."

The Doctor said after clearing his throat. Chakotay's head snapped around to face the intruding voice, his hand instantly releasing its hold on the Captain's. The Doctor used his hand to indicate his office and when he saw Chakotay begin walking he led the way, sitting in the seat behind his desk with a grim expression on his face. Hesitantly Chakotay sat in the seat across from the EMH, his face asking all the questions his mouth could not form at the time.

"The Captain is in a coma but is stable, for now. Her neural pathways have been severely affected by the drugs the Fraine put in her system, completely confusing her whole system. From what I heard she fought the programming they put her through." The Doctor looked at the man across form him waiting for an answer, after a few seconds Chakotay nodded in acknowledgement. "That put more stress on them and her brain had to compensate, it did that by shutting down, which is why she is in a coma."

"What now?" Chakotay questioned quietly. The Doctor hesitated and spread out his hands on his desk top.

"I will be perfectly honest with you Commander. I am completely out of my depth here. I can assume that if she awakens her memory will probably be affected, to what extent I'm not certain, but we must be prepared for that. Also she will wake up if and when her body and mind are ready."

"What…" Chakotay's sentence was cut off as the doors to sickbay slid open with a hiss, admitting the entry of Tuvok, First Prime Kallibyi and a man Chakotay did not recognise. Chakotay quickly stood and he quickly made his way out of the Doctor's office to greet the group, the Doctor mimicking his actions.

Chakotay extended his hand to Kallibyi but he pulled it back when he noticed that her eyes were firmly fixed on Kathryn's still form. Slowly she pulled her gaze away and smiled gently at him.

"Commander Chakotay." She said formally, lowering her head in an acknowledging nod. The man Chakotay didn't recognise stepped forward towards the Doctor.

"Doctor, it is good to see you again. I wish the circumstances were better." His rich voice boomed.

"Doctor Traben the feeling is mutual. Have you made any progress?" The Doctor asked hopefully.

"Forgive me Commander, I don't believe I have introduced you to Dr. Traben, he is our leading medical specialist." Kallibyi said. The two men shook hands briefly before Chakotay voiced the question running through his mind.

"Well, can you help her?"

"I am unsure yet Commander, this is a new situation for us all. I can promise you I will do everything in my power to help your Captain. Hopefully with your Doctor's help we will be able to reverse the effects." Dr. Traben then turned to face the Doctor. "I have brought all my equipment and research with me, maybe we could compare what we have and figure out the best course of action." The EMH looked towards his commanding officer for permission, when he received it he led Dr. Traben into his office.

"Commander I cannot apologise enough for what has happened." Kallibyi said her voice filled with sorrow. "I wish I could stay and watch over her with you but I am afraid that the Fraine issue needs dealing with immediately. I will not allow this to happen again."

"Apology accepted, not that it was your fault and I understand that you have work to do." He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder before continuing, "Tuvok please escort our guest back to the transporter and help her in anyway possible." Kallibyi and Chakotay exchanged grateful smiles before Tuvok led her out of the room.

_Four days later…_

Kathryn still hadn't shown any sign whatsoever of waking up and crew morale was suffering despite Nelix's best efforts. The two Doctor's had been working around the clock trying to find a solution, only stopping when Dr. Traben required sleep. Even then Voyager's own Doctor continued with the research.

Chakotay barely left sickbay. When he did it was to check up on the ships status, which didn't change much as they were still orbiting the planet. The only other time he left was when B'Elanna dragged him away in order to eat, even then he left reluctantly.

The only light in sickbay came from the Doctor's office where the two men continued to exchange ideas and theories in words that Chakotay barely understood on a good day. The rest of sickbay the light was dulled to ten percent illumination, giving Chakotay enough sight so that he didn't fall over anything. Wearily he slumped down into a chair, which had become a permanent feature next to Kathryn's biobed. He rubbed his hands over his face, desperately trying to erase the fatigue he was feeling.

Sleep didn't come very easily these days as he was afraid that if he went to sleep Kathryn would wake up without him there or that she would completely let go. He grasped her hand in his tightly, trying to transfer his strength to her. He nearly fell out of the chair when he felt hers grip back.

Startled and believing he was imagining things he squeezed her hand again getting the exact same response. His head whipped up to her face in excitement, his eyes becoming level with her own. They were open.

TBC…

Reviews are more then welcome. Tell me what ya think!


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Quite a short chapter but I will make it up to you all next time! Enjoy!**

**Thanks for the Reviews!**

**x x x **

Startled and believing he was imagining things he squeezed her hand again getting the exact same response. His head whipped up to her face in excitement, his eyes becoming level with her own. They were open.

Studying her more closely Chakotay noticed her normally brilliant blue eyes were glazed and unfocussed. Her confusion was evident on her face.

"Kathryn." Chakotay said quietly, hoping his voice could bring her back into focus. Her wandering eyes settled onto his form, the glazed look clearing slightly. He watched her as she took a deep, shuddering breath. She closed her eyes, allowing a few stubborn tears to escape their captivity and create jagged pathways down her pale cheeks.

After watching her struggle to speak he replicated a glass of water and held it to her mouth. She thanked him with a small smile which Chakotay was relieved to see, even if it was barely noticeable.

"How are you feeling?" Chakotay questioned kindly whilst absentmindedly rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. Before she could answer the Doctor strolled out of his office immediately noticing his patients open eyes. After practically running towards the biobed he grabbed the nearest tricorder and began the necessary scans.

"Captain I'm glad to see you awake. "The Doctor stated whilst snapping the tricorder shut. "How do you feel?"

"I…I feel tired and weak." Kathryn choked in an answer, after taking another shuddering breath.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Being in here…then…oh God…in the brig!" she cried, tears now rolling freely. She placed her hands over her face in an attempt to hide her weakness. Seeing her distress Chakotay gently removed her hands from her face and held them in his own.

"Kathryn its OK nobody was hurt, you fought it and broke his control. You fought it." Without conscious thought he tenderly wiped away her tears, soothing her in the process.

The Doctor waited patiently on the side lines, watching the scene before him with understanding and hating the fact that he would have to interrupt it. He quickly assembled a hypospray and began to move towards the biobed Kathryn occupied. He was just about to speak when Kathryn's eyes fell upon the hypo.

"What…what are you doing?" She stammered nervously, leaping off of the biobed with an impressive speed. She fell onto Chakotay as she lost her balance and as she felt his arms trying to hold her she pushed away from him, pressing her body into the corner as tightly as possible. "Who are you?"

"Kathryn." Chakotay said whilst stepping forward. Kathryn moved even further into the corner, whimpering quietly.

"Stay the hell away from me!" She screamed, her voice full of venom despite her eyes showing fear.

"Kathryn, it's me Chakotay. We are not going to hurt you, I promise. I would never hurt you. We would never hurt you." Slowly he closed the distance between them and placed his hand gently on her shoulder, she shuddered at the contact but didn't try and move away.

For a few tension filled moments the only sound that could be heard in the room were the gulping breaths and sobs that shook Kathryn's small frame. Her face was deeply buried in the corner facing away from the people surrounding her. She couldn't remember who they were but instinctively felt she could trust the one talking to her. She glanced over her shoulder immediately noticing the genuine concern on Chakotay's features. Without warning she threw herself into his arms, which automatically closed around her, making her feel safe and doubling the fatigue she felt. After no more then a few minutes she fell to sleep.

Chakotay shared a worried glance with the Doctor before lifting his sleeping Captain and gently placing her on the biobed. He was desperate for contact with her to try and ease the amount of concern he felt, so he ran his hand through her hair whilst speaking.

"Is it always going to be this way?" He asked hoarsely, trying to fight the lump in his throat. The Doctor gave him a sympathetic look before answering.

"Unfortunately her brain can't process information correctly due to her neural damage and it is getting mixed up, for lack of better term. Without order her brain will confuse all information. One minute she will remember the next she won't."

"Have you been able to find anything?"

"Unfortunately…"

"Doctor!" Dr. Traben interrupted. "I think I have found something." Without pausing the Doctor spun on his heel and rushed into his office, leaving behind a hopeful but equally worried Chakotay.

TBC…


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** I am really sorry about the wait, I got really distracted! Anyway here is chapter 13. I don't know all the medical facts or terms so please don't blame me if they are wrong, however if there are any corrections please tell me and I will happily change them :D

**Xxx**

Chakotay sat in the silence of sickbay his eyes never leaving Kathryn's unconscious form. It had been over half an hour since the two doctors had disappeared into the office and since that time they had beamed down to the surface as Doctor Traben needed all of his research equipment. The Doc was reluctant to leave his patient but realised that if they were going to find a cure they needed to use Traben's equipment, so the Doc left Paris in charge of sickbay.

At first Tom had tried to talk to Chakotay but after several failed attempts he gave up and headed into the Doc's office giving Chakotay's shoulder a comforting pat on the way. Now Chakotay was left only with his thoughts and they all centred on Kathryn.

Every few minutes Kathryn would mumble something incoherent and her head would toss and turn repeatedly. Chakotay hated the fact that he could do nothing to help scare away the demons that she was facing, but swore to himself and to her that he would do whatever was in his power to help her.

Without warning Kathryn jumped up with a scream throwing herself to the ground in the process. Chakotay heard the distinctive snap of bone and winced as it hit his ears, cringing at the thought of the bone breaking and almost feeling the pain himself. He slowly walked into Kathryn's eye line trying desperately not to startle her. What he saw broke his heart. She was huddled as close to the biobed as possible, cradling an obviously broken wrist in her good hand and rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. Soft cries escaped her throat along with incoherent words.

Tom appeared then and as soon as he saw what happened grabbed the equipment he needed and slowly approached Kathryn from the opposite side to Chakotay. He was almost at her side when she turned and caught sight of him, the fear on her face made Tom want to personally kill the bastards that did this to her, not to mention it hurt him even though he knew if she was her normal self she would trust him with her life.

Tom tentatively reached out to try and move her hands but when she saw his hands coming towards her she slapped it away then scurried further back in the room, her broken wrist held against her chest.

"Please don't hurt me…please don't hurt me." Poured out of her mouth in a desperate whisper. Before anyone could say anything her good hand connected with Chakotay's. She leapt out of her skin, spinning around wildly and landed on her broken hand causing her to cry out in pain. She looked towards Tom then quickly spun towards Chakotay. As her eyes set on him, her panicked cries lessened.

"Chak…"

That was all the permission Chakotay needed, he quickly moved forward wrapping his muscular arms around her trembling frame.

"It's ok Kathryn we just want to help." He tenderly laid his hands against her cheeks and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. He gestured towards Tom. "Tom just wants to help you. He won't hurt you, I promise. Will you let him help?"

She reluctantly looked towards Tom again before slowly nodding her head. Chakotay lifted her and sat her on the edge of the biobed, as he went to move away slightly Kathryn's good hand grabbed his, panic clearly visible in her eyes, as they welled up with tears again

"Hey…it's ok I'm not going anywhere."

Tom had watched the scene before him in total amazement before coming back to his senses. He picked up his equipment and laid it all out on top of a trolley, making sure that his Captain saw everything he did. He grabbed a painkilling a hypo and went to place it against her neck but before it could connect with her skin she flinched away from it burying her face in Chakotay's shoulder.

Tom looked up at Chakotay helplessly. Finally coming to a decision Chakotay held out his hand and gestured for Tom to give him the hypospray, Tom quickly nodded his understanding and passed it to the older man, who in turn gave Kathryn the hypospray without any resistance.

After Tom found out that Chakotay could use an osteo-regenerator, he left him to it, standing just inside the office door where he could observe them easily.

For some reason the scene he witnessed earlier between the command team brought forth his memories of the first time they met after the caretaker had dragged them into this quadrant. As soon as they had made contact they had trusted each other instantly, you could almost taste the instant connection between the two of them and the same just happened now, before his very eyes.

It was nothing short of astonishing that she remembered anything at all and the fact she remembered Chakotay just proved that there were some deep feelings involved. Tom just hoped that if…no when the Captain was back to her normal self that she realised what Chakotay offered, as it was clear to everyone that he loved her, the only mystery was if the Captain felt the same and based on today he would say she did, at least subconsciously.

All that mattered at the moment was Captain Janeway's recovery and Tom knew that this was the only thought in every crew members mind at the moment. He also knew that her recovery would take a lot of time, especially the emotional, but he had every confidence in his Captain, in fact there was probably no one he trusted more, except maybe B'Elanna.

Tom was brought out of his silent reverie when he heard Chakotay say he was finished. Without wasting time Tom moved across the room, gathered the equipment off of Chakotay and placed it all back where it belonged, knowing that if he didn't the Doc would have a lecture for him when he got back.

- - - - - - - - - -

Confusion was all Kathryn knew at the moment. She felt as if she should know this place but as soon as the feeling came it went again just as quickly. All of her emotions were in a whirlpool of motion, fighting for dominance in a constant and exhausting battle. Nothing made sense to her and as much as she tried to focus and remember things nothing ever stuck.

She didn't know anyone; in fact she didn't even know who she was. The only constants in her mind were of horrifying images and pain which made her petrified.

When she first awoke in this room she now found herself in it reminded her of the room in her dreams, where a dark, shadowy figure had tormented her endlessly. She was instantly on alert; the only thing stopping her from making a get away was the calm, caring and gentle voice of a man.

For some reason every fibre of her being told her that he could be trusted and her heart began to beat frantically. A name pooped into her head and actually stayed there, giving her time to analyse it…_Chakotay._

He called her Kathryn and it made sense to her on some level, her mind began to clear more as she answered his questions and her emotions became less wild and more controlled. Her body and mind felt at peace.

All of that disappeared as soon as she saw the Doctor coming her way, the whirlwind of emotion crashed down on her like a tidal wave, sending her into full panic mode. When Chakotay called to her, she forced herself to look back at him, fighting the terror that threatened to paralyse her. Kathryn felt as if she was drowning and desperately needed to cling to something to keep her afloat. The only thing that made any sense at all was Chakotay so she threw herself in his arms and finally felt safe enough to allow her body the rest it required.

Nightmares, images of the man who inflicted pain on her ran across her mind repeatedly.

_She was tied to a table, the restraints digging into her wrists and ankles. Using all the strength she could find, she struggled against them quickly realising that it would be impossible to break free. _

_Cold air circulated on her skin causing goose bumps to form and a shiver to run through her body. She jumped as a loud banging noise echoed throughout the sterile room, followed by footsteps indicating that she wasn't alone anymore._

_Suddenly a dark face appeared in front of her, the only thing she could make out was the sinister smile that seemed to be a constant feature on his face. She doubles her attempts of struggle and his laugh bounced off of the walls and into her ear drums sending another wave of fear through her body._

"_Now now Kathryn you know that won't get you anywhere." He laughed maliciously before he raised the needle like device into her vision. "Say goodnight…"_

_He grabbed her and then drove the needle into her arm…_

"Aaaaahhhhh!" Kathryn woke up the fear that she had in her dream still in her. As she jumped she fell to the floor her wrist taking the brunt of the fall and cracking under the pressure. All she knew at that point in time was the pain and tears fell from her eyes as she rocked herself backwards and forwards trying to delete the dream and the pain from her mind.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, a blonde man was moving closer to her. Again panic filled every pore of her body and in an attempt to escape she crawled backwards, never taking her eyes from the man who actually looked hurt that she backed away from him. That thought was soon forgotten though as her mind began to torment her again, making it difficult to process anything.

As she moved her hand again it contacted something warm and her internal alarm went off, sensing someone else in the room. She jumped away and completely forgot about her wrist until she landed on it causing another wave of pain to sweep through her body, making her cry out in agony.

As she spun away from the blonde man she saw it was Chakotay who she had touched and she immediately sagged in relief. He began talking but she couldn't listen, all she knew was that his arms were around her and would protect her from everything and anyone.

From that moment on everything was in a daze, the pain in her wrist disappeared, then there was a humming sound and then she was filled with peace again when his arms closed around her. She wanted to stay in his embrace forever.

TBC…

So what did ya think?


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, all I have to say is that work is evil, lol. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review, they are my motivation :D

X-X-X

Chakotay wrapped his arms around Kathryn, repeatedly running his hand over the back of her head and humming soothingly into her ear. Her steady breathing tickled his neck as she turned her face further into his shoulder and he hugged her tighter in response. He lifted his head and placed a gentle kiss in her hair before resting his cheek against her head, so that he was facing the door. As he did the doors parted allowing Dr. Traben and the EMH entrance.

The Doctor made eye contact with Chakotay and the pride evident on the holograms face sent a flicker of hope, fluttering around his body. Dr. Traben noticed the question in Chakotay's eyes and smiled gently at the man, hoping to send him reassurance. He watched as the Commander's eyes closed in relief and if possible pulled Kathryn closer to him, almost melding them into one being.

Tom waited as the two doctors approached him, barely hiding his own anxiety, he was about to speak but the Doc beat him to it.

"How is our patient Mr Paris."

"The Captain woke up about an hour ago. She woke up screaming and threw herself off of the biobed, not to mention broke her wrist in the process. She was still confused and wouldn't let me near her, Chakotay had to treat her. She hasn't let go of him since." Tom reported distress apparent in his tone. "Have you found a solution?"

The two doctors nodded an affirmative synchronously and Tom let out a breath of relief, visibly sagging before their very eyes.

"Well?" Chakotay questioned apprehensively, startling the three men in the Doctor's office. The doctor spun around to face his commanding officer.

"Commander, I believe we have a solution." The doctor lifted up a vile filled with a translucent liquid. "We have done several simulations and all have turned out positively, it is Dr. Traben's recommendation that we proceed immediately and I concur."

"Let's do it then." Chakotay demanded, striding back towards Kathryn's biobed. When he noticed he wasn't being followed he spun around to face them, giving them an impatient look.

"Commander, you will need to leave sickbay." Doc stated reluctantly but with enough authority in his voice to make it an order. Chakotay glared at him, clenching his jaw in the process.

"If you think I am going to leave her side then you are seriously deluded." He ground out.

"Commander the effects of this treatment are…unpleasant. I think…"

"Doctor, what don't you understand…I AM NOT LEAVING HER SIDE!" Chakotay's forceful tone left no room for argument and he reluctantly gave his acceptance, knowing that this was going to hurt a lot of people in the room, himself included.

"Very well Commander, but you must stay out of the way; if you so much as try to interfere I will call security. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Chakotay agreed whilst moving to stand next a free biobed, which was out of the Doctors way but also gave him a clear view of Kathryn. It took a moment for him to realise that he wasn't alone. Tom stood beside him as a silent support; Chakotay had never before felt as thankful for Tom's presence before now.

Dr. Traben and the Doc stood at either side of Kathryn's biobed both holding a set of hyposprays. Dr. Traben gently pressed one against Kathryn's neck, with a practiced ease. He waited several moments before looking up at the Doc and giving him a nod. The Doc took a deep breath to prepare himself, prepared the hypospray with the treatment then pressed the hypo against Kathryn's neck at exactly the same time Dr. Traben pressed another.

All of still for several moments before Kathryn's body began convulsing violently, if it wasn't for the two doctors restraining her she would have flown off of the bed. Suddenly a scream tore from her throat, filled with so much pain Chakotay felt tears prick at his eyes as he grabbed the edge of the biobed so forcefully his knuckles turned white. He turned away from the sight and his eyes met Tom's, whose pain filled eyes met his in complete understanding.

The screaming continued, ripping Chakotay's heart to pieces, he pushed himself away from the biobed intending to walk over to the biobed and take Kathryn in his arms, but Tom grabbed hold of his arms and pushed him back towards the bed.

"Don't Chakotay!" Tom choked. Chakotay closed his eyes and when he opened them he glared at the EMH, but the pain filled look the Doc gave him deflated his anger and he slumped to the floor leaning his back on the biobed.

Chakotay blocked out everything after that and only became aware of his surroundings when he noticed that the screams had diminished. He looked up to see the Doctors scanning Kathryn's now still body. He looked towards Tom who finally told him what he wanted to hear, albeit in a quietly whispered voice.

"Its over."

Chakotay returned his gaze to the doc who had snapped his tricorder shut and lowered his head in relief before meeting Chakotay's eyes.

"It worked, her neural pathways are healing."

"Thank you." Chakotay whispered. Dr. Traben stepped forward then to give his own report.

"Commander Chakotay, it will take time but I give you my word that she will be completely healed. I will see to it myself." Chakotay nodded in response, barely trusting himself to speak, he felt Tom's hand on his shoulder and stood up from the floor, before quickly making his way out of sickbay. Kathryn's screams echoing in his mind.

_TBC…_

_Don't hate me too much; this chapter nearly killed me, lol. Anyway tell me what you think._


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far for giving me the motivation to continue and for putting up with my sporadic updates, which I am sorry for just so you know…honest I am! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Chakotay pummelled the bag vigorously, every punch and resounding thud it made against its surface a representation of each scream, tear and flash of pain Kathryn had released since this whole thing began. He wasn't aware of the slight sting on his hands as a layer of skin was worn away by the continual friction, in fact he didn't even care. This whole incident was taking its toll on him physically, emotionally and mentally. It was ripping him apart piece by piece taking away his calm and leaving behind the angry man he thought he had lost the last shreds of on New Earth. 

Back and forth the bag swung, the force of his punches sending it flying through the air at an impressive speed each sound echoing in Chakotay's ears masking the sound of the holodeck doors parting and the sound of footsteps on the flooring. He was that focussed on the bag before him that he didn't even notice when someone held the bag still preventing the swinging motion. It was only when his fist made contact again that he snapped out of his blinding rage, his eyes burning furiously into Tom's.

"What do you want Paris?" Chakotay demanded angrily throwing another punch at the bag.

"Nothing," Tom shrugged whilst still holding the bag in place. "I just wanted to work off some steam…thought I'd join you." Chakotay punched the bag more fully this time causing Tom to put more pressure on the other side.

"You know I'm quite sure I put a lock on the door!"

"Yea well you learn some pretty interesting things in a penal colony." Chakotay stopped his movement and rested both fists on the bag gazing up at Tom in annoyance. "I'm just glad we have a holodeck. I wouldn't want you to take you're anger out on some unsuspecting crewman." Chakotay snorted, he couldn't decide whether or not to keep his annoyance or be amused.

"Is there a time when you don't or can't pull a bad joke?"

"What can I say? Its part of my natural charm…" Tom smirked slightly before his face became serious. "Look…I know we haven't exactly been the best of friends but I just…wanted to help. It can't have been easy listening to…it wasn't for me I know that." Tom ran a hand through his hair giving away his discomfort. "I care about her…a lot. She changed my life made me a better person. I can't even imagine how you must feel. I mean if it was B'Elanna…" He trailed off not knowing what to say.

"Am I that obvious?" Chakotay asked in a deadly voice hating the fact that people could read him so easily even when he tried to hide it.

"It's not a bad thing Chakotay."

"Isn't it?" He replied quietly, sliding down a nearby wall until he was sat on the floor with his knees pulled up and his forearms resting on his knees. He stared at his hands studying the rawness of his knuckles. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tom sitting next to him copying his position.

"No it shouldn't be but I'm guessing that it is…at least for you." Chakotay chuckled but Tom could hear the flat humourless tone.

"Nope not for me," Chakotay replied as he tugged on his ear. Tom instantly understood and went to speak but Chakotay beat him to it. "Let's just say it's not something we talk about."

"Right…" Tom said sadly. "You know it's kind of incredible how much you can find out working in sickbay. You see a lot of things that you would miss anywhere else."

"Oh…" Chakotay was perplexed by the change in subject but intrigued none the less.

"Yep, for example every time a certain Commander gets injured and ends up laying in sickbay I always see the Captain sat by his side, holding his hand and whispering words into his ear. Even when she had been awake for twenty four hours straight she was there, in every spare moment she was there," Tom said immediately noticing Chakotay's stunned look. "We both know I'm not talking about Tuvok."

"But…"

"Oh she always moved back when you started to regain consciousness and became the Captain again if someone came in. But she was there. She really does care about you."

"I know she does, it's just hard when she doesn't show it. She always hides it behind that damn mask and then things like this happen and it kills me because she won't let me in to help her…won't let me in. She won't let anyone in…" Chakotay whispered his voice becoming hoarse with emotion. He looked up noticing Tom's saddened expression.

"She'll be fine Chakotay. She's strong, you know that, she'll fight every step of the way and then give more just to spite the people who did this." The both shared a smile at that. "She might need help on the way but she has a family of around one hundred and fifty who will volunteer gladly and we won't take no for an answer even if she does threaten us with the brig."

The both burst out laughing imagining the brig filled with every crew member.

"Thanks Tom," Chakotay said sincerely for which he received a shrug.

"No problem, its what friends are for."

"Well friend," Chakotay teased putting an emphasis on 'friend'. "I think I'm going to have to get up off this floor…"

"What's wrong Chakotay, getting to old?"

"Shut it Paris or I might find myself in need of a new punch bag!"

"Yes Sir!" Tom mocked as Chakotay shut the programme down, laughing silently.

* * *

Chakotay awoke as he heard clattering sounds coming from the Doctor's office. Using the arms of the chair he heaved himself into a sitting position, regretting it instantly when his overused muscles protested the action. Glancing at the chronometer on the nearest console he almost groaned aloud, it was 0600, which meant he had only had about two hours sleep. 

After talking to Tom in the holodeck he had gone to the ready room determined to get all the work he could done, not to mention get an update from Tuvok. By the time he had finished and got back to sickbay it had been 0300. He had spent some time talking to Kathryn and had, by the looks of things, fallen asleep in the chair.

"Commander this is a sickbay not a hotel, you really should get some proper rest in your quarters. Preferably in a bed," The Doctor said in his usual sarcastic manner. Chakotay chose to ignore the comment and asked the question that was the first thing on his mind.

"How is she?" The Doctor sighed, sometimes he wondered if anyone actually paid attention to him.

"Our Captain has always been impatient Commander and she's just proving it more now." At Chakotay's raised eyebrow he continued. "The treatment is working quicker then we predicted, in fact ninety percent of her neural pathways have been repaired. It really is quite remarkable."

Before Chakotay could reply Seven strode through the doors and directly to the end of Kathryn's biobed. Her demeanour softened as she gazed at Kathryn's face.

"Seven," The doctor said delightedly.

"Commander, Doctor," She greeted although her eyes never left Kathryn's form. "Doctor what is the Captain's condition?" She demanded her eyes finally coming up to meet the Doctor's, he immediately noticed the uncharacteristic vulnerability present in her eyes and desperately wanted to comfort her.

"She's recovering nicely Seven, in fact she should wake up soon," He placed a hand on her shoulder noticing her frame tremble slightly.

"Good! I will return to my duties now. Please inform me when she regains consciousness." With that said she quickly marched out of sickbay.

"She's taking this hard. I've never seen her this emotional," Chakotay stated remembering the other times she had been to visit Kathryn.

"Yes well Seven is very close with the Captain it is difficult for her handle."

"I can imagine." Chakotay said quietly his eyes once again settling on Kathryn's face, for such a small person it was amazing how much of an impact she made in everyone's life. He remembered the relief he witnessed on the crew's faces when they were informed of her recovery and it brought a tired smile to his face. No matter what she thought, this crew loved her in fact they adored her and when she recovered he was going to make sure she realised that.

Tbc…

Please review and tell me what you think. Go on it will only take a second :-)


	16. Chapter 16

**Authors Note: **Thanks for all the kind reviews they have given me quite a bit of inspiration :-) My muse came back and hit me over the head, making me write this chapter, lol. Let me know what you think.

**x-x-x-x-x-x**

Chakotay absentmindedly walked through the corridors, his legs automatically taking him to the bridge where he was needed. Although he was more than reluctant to leave Kathryn's side he knew he had a duty and that Kathryn would not want him moping about sickbay even, if he did have good reasons, instead of doing his job. Anyway the computer would alert him as soon as it detected any change.

"Commander Chakotay," Lt. Park greeted with a nod surprising Chakotay when he stopped to talk. "How's the Captain this morning?"

"Recovering nicely Lt.…she'll be back giving everyone orders before you know it." They both shared a smile at that and continued on their way. He rounded the corner just in time to see Harry enter the turbo lift; he quickened up his pace and made it to the turbo lift just before the doors closed.

"Harry."

"Commander."

Chakotay silently studied the man before him noticing the dark circles that accompanied the haunted look in his eyes. It couldn't have been easy for him; Harry idolized Kathryn and in some ways saw her as a mother figure. To be an actual witness of the event that unfolded, especially in the brig, was traumatising.

"How are you Harry?" He asked gently watching as he focussed his attention on him.

"I'm fine sir." Harry noticed his sceptical look and re-thought his answer. "I'm just worried about the Captain…that's all."

"You and every other person on board Harry…I'll tell you what I tell everyone else; she's going to be fine. The Doctor even said she will wake up soon." Harry nodded and looked towards the floor just as they arrived at the bridge. Chakotay stopped and spoke in a mere whisper. "If you need to talk Harry my door is always open."

"Yes sir…and…thanks," Harry said gratefully before he moved to stand at his station. Chakotay followed suit and moved down to the command deck.

"Report," Chakotay ordered directing his gaze to Tuvok at the security station.

"Commander First Prime Kallibyi has requested to speak with you."

"Right…you have the bridge Tuvok. I'll be in the ready room."

Once in the ready room he let his shoulders drop and he released a resigned sigh. If truth be told he was exhausted emotionally more then physically. He ordered a tea from the replicator and reluctantly tried to make himself comfortable in Kathryn's chair, it wasn't working, that chair was made for Kathryn and he would always feel uncomfortable in it. Placing the cup to the side of the monitor he made sure his uniform looked presentable and hailed the planet. When Kallibyi appeared on the screen he allowed her a small smile.

"First Prime Kallibyi it's nice to speak to you again."

"Greetings Commander," She replied politely. "How are you today? How is Kathryn? Dr. Traben tells me its good news."

"I'm fine thank you and Kathryn is doing well, recovering in record time apparently. The Doctor thinks she will wake up soon so all we can do is sit and wait."

"I am pleased to hear that."

"I think we all were," Chakotay added earning himself a compassionate smile. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes I just wanted to inform you that we have now detained all members of the Fraine group and they are all being prosecuted to the full extent of our law." Chakotay's face darkened at the mention of the group but that was his only visible reaction. "That means they will be imprisoned indefinitely. I really can't apologise enough for this occurrence and I can in no means make it up to your crew or Kathryn…but I hope you will accept this as a token of my sorrow."

"First Prime that isn't…"

"Yes it is," She stated determinedly. "We are going to double the amount of supplies you asked for in trade. I know it's not much but hopefully it will make things easier for the journey ahead." Chakotay was going to protest again but he saw the same stubbornness in Kallibyi's eyes as he was used to seeing in Kathryn's and he knew it was pointless.

"Thank you," He stated simply.

"It's being arranged as we speak so it can be transported onboard as soon as you're ready. Now unfortunately I have some business to attend to so I must depart but I would greatly appreciate is if you inform me when Kathryn awakens.."

"I will…thank you for everything."

"Nonsense…you have nothing to be thankful for. Good day Commander Chakotay."

"Good day."

* * *

Astrometrics was as usual very quiet, the only noise that could be heard was the insistent beeping of panels and consoles found all over the room. The Doctor walked forward cautiously not wanting to disturb Seven's solitude but feeling like he had to. The person in question looked over her shoulder raising her eyebrow at the Doctor's uncharacteristic behaviour. She continued working at her console wanting to keep bust in her work.

"Doctor how can I assist you?" She asked with mild irritation present in her voice. The Doctor moved to stand beside her choosing to ignore her obvious annoyance.

"I just wanted to see if you are alright." Seven stood upright and moved to another console trying to escape the Doctor's imposing questions and concerned manner.

"I am fine!" She stated briskly avoiding eye contact. The Doctor's demeanour softened even more.

"Seven it's understandable that you would be feeling anxious and upset its nothing to be ashamed of, the Captain's well being means a lot to you." Seven remained completely still for several moments before she turned to face the Doctor, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"She is…the only mother I have ever known. How do you deal with these emotions? I can't function efficiently…" Seven cried. The Doctor quickly put an arm around her shoulders trying to support her physically and emotionally.

"Seven you will learn over time how to deal with emotions. There is nothing wrong with expressing them. Pain is something we all have to deal with but you will feel better and the Captain will recover." The only answer he got was a single tear rolling down her cheek and in response he gently pulled her into his arms.

* * *

B'Elanna marched into her quarters grabbing a small figurine from a shelf and hurling it across the room. Fortunately Tom spotted the home made missile and caught it before it did any damage.

"B'E…are you alright?" He asked attentively placing the small figurine on another table.

"Do I look alright to you," She snapped glaring at him heatedly as her fists clenched tightly at her sides. Tom calmly walked over to her and placed his hands over her fists, bringing each one to his mouth and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"Do you want to go to the holodeck to cool down a bit?" He moved his hands to her shoulders and began massaging them soothingly. He continued until her head fell forward and rested on his shoulder. She let out a ragged sigh before she spoke.

"I'm just frustrated you know." She lifted her eyes to his and saw complete understanding.

"Why don't you go and talk to her?" He suggested, at B'Elanna sceptical look he continued. "It might help." B'Elanna looked thoughtful before she slowly nodded her agreement.

"I think I will…what do I say?" She asked uncomfortable with the sentimentality and emotion.

"Whatever you want to say." He gently kissed her lips before pushing her towards the door playfully. "Go on get outa here!"

"Shut it Flyboy," She muttered tenderly as she made her way to sickbay giving him a grateful smile before the door shut.

Sickbay was deserted when B'Elanna entered through the doors. She slowly made her way to the Captain's bedside and gazed down at the women who had come to mean so much to her. She went to put her hand on the Captain's shoulder but changed her mind and began pacing around the bio bed. She stopped suddenly and grabbed her hand holding it tightly in her own.

"I really don't know what to say to you. You have us all worried you know and I know your going to blame yourself because that's what you do…but you really shouldn't…if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be alive right now!" She ran a hand through her hair and restarted her earlier pacing. "You know you have some nerve Kathryn Janeway making us all worried like this. Dammit you need to wake up. We all need you…" She stared at Kathryn's face as if expecting a reaction when she didn't get one she began again. "Come on Captain you need to show those pat'aq's that they haven't beaten you. You need to wake up…now!"

B'Elanna turned and was about to walk storm away when she heard a low moan behind her. Her body snapped around and she practically ran to the side of the biobed meeting her Captain's eyes as she did.

"B'Elanna," Kathryn whispered in a raspy unrecognisable voice.

"Captain your awake," B'Elanna said in a joyful whisper impulsively pulling her into a hug. "You're finally awake."

Tbc…

Be kind and review, then hopefully my muse will hit me again ;-)


	17. Chapter 17

Author's note: I owe some people an apology for promising an update last week and not giving you one. I am so totally sorry and beg your forgiveness. I lost my internet connection, due to the fact that I am switching providers. So yes I have no internet and if I am honest I am suffering major withdrawal, lol. Anyway I've run off with my Mums computer so that I could update now. Sorry again and I hope yo enjoy it!

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Kathryn stiffened in B'Elanna's embrace the unexpectedness of the gesture taking her off guard and bringing forth unwanted memories. Emotions began building up inside of her threatening her ever present control, so she did what she always did and snapped her captains mask in place, her face becoming indifferent as she reverted back to rank.

"Lieutenant I…" She began quietly pulling herself away from the embrace only to be cut off as the Doctor materialised in front of them. She turned away from B'Elanna's hurt but angry expression and focussed on the Doc.

"Ah Captain," he said barely concealed joy and pride in his tone. "Its good to see you awake." He moved towards her getting out his ever present medical tricorder. "The treatment has worked much better then I ever thought possible. You'll be pleased to know that your neural pathways are completely repaired." He clicked his tongue at the results on display.

"Can you tell me what you remember Captain?" Kathryn stared over his shoulder and the Doctor noticed her uncharacteristic quietness.

"Everything," she answered quietly. She didn't think it would ever be possible to forget what had happen or what she had almost done. "Its very hazy but I remember everything from under and out of his control," she clarified. She couldn't bring herself to even say his name and desperately wanted to forget it all.

"Are you in any pain?" The Doctor questioned already picking up a hypo spray. Kathryn knew she couldn't lie to him, the tricorder would tell him what type of pain she was in anyway. The truth was that the pain gave her something to focus on, something to distract her mind from the ordeals it wanted to relive. Not to mention that she saw it as a less then fitting punishment for her weakness.

"Just a slight headache Doctor, nothing that I can't handle." The Doctor ignored her comment and used the hypo spray anyway not in the least bit phased by her glare. The EMH began to turn around but stopped when Kathryn called out to him.

"Can I go to my quarters now," She asked a silent demand in her tone.

"Captain you have just undergone a major treatment what could technically equal extensive brain surgery, not to mention the fact that you have only just awoken from a coma…" Kathryn held up her hand forestalling the Doctors tirade. She needed to get out of this sickbay and back into her quarters where she could deal with this silently, in her own way.

"Doctor you said yourself that the treatment has been more then a success, I feel fine and if it will make you happy I will wear a cortical monitor but no matter what I will be going back to my quarters," she informed him sternly. The Doctor's face turned serious.

"Captain the only way I will let you out of these doors is if you have someone with you at all times. You are still too weak from the treatment to be looking after yourself." He replied meeting Kathryn's defiant glare with a stubborn one of his own. "I will make it a medical order if I have to!" Before Kathryn could reply B'Elanna stepped forward.

"I'll do it," She volunteered not even bothering to look in Kathryn's direction.

"Lieutenant ," Kathryn hissed her fists clenching tightly at her sides.

"Excellent," the Doctor sang as he began picking up several hypo sprays and ignoring his Captain's protest. "These are for pain relief if the headaches come back." He handed B'Elanna two hypo's. "and these are sedatives just to aide sleeping," he instructed before turning back to Kathryn. "Now Captain you are on official medical leave until I believe you are well enough, both emotionally and physically, to retake command."

"Excuse me," She ground out. The Doctor moved forward so that he was just in front of her and spoke quietly so that only she could hear. B'Elanna busied herself near the door. "Captain you have been through a lot and I urge you to talk to someone about it. I'm quite a good listener and have some counselling subroutines in my system. I might be able to help you. If not me then talk to Commander Chakotay." Kathryn breathed deeply resisting the urge to cry and scream. Instead she walked over to the replicator and replicated her self a simple pair a black trousers and a comfortable top. She walked into the small bathroom to the side of sickbay and changed. She completely ignored the Doctor's comment

"I'll be in my quarters," she stated when she came out of the bathroom before she marched through the doors into the corridor. B'Elanna hastily trying to keep up with her. The doors closed after them leaving the Doctor alone in sickbay.

"Sickbay to Commander Chakotay." The Doctor requested as he hit his comm badge.

"Chakotay here Doctor." The EMH fiddled with some instruments as he spoke.

"Commander the Captain is awake." When all he received was silence the Doctor cleared his throat. "Commander?!"

"Yes Doctor," Chakotay replied his relief more than evident. "I'm on my way."

"Actually Commander she isn't in sickbay anymore, she left for her quarters."

"And you let her?!" Chakotay exclaimed.

"Hardly Commander," the Doctor huffed indignantly. "We came to an arrangement when she refused to stay in sickbay. B'Elanna is going to stay with her for now. I'm sure you will want to relieve her later," he suggested already knowing the answer.

-----

Kathryn tapped her door code into the panel causing the doors to swish open and allow her and B'Elanna entry into her quarters. B'Elanna entered reluctantly not quite sure what to do with herself, but determined none the less. Kathryn turned and stared at her and she shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

"I'm going to go to my room Lieutenant, please make yourself at home," Kathryn stated simply. "I'm sure Commander Chakotay will come by to relieve you soon." Kathryn knew her crew, especially Chakotay, too well. She could quite confidently predict their every move and would place money on the fact that the Doctor would have contacted Chakotay as soon as she left sickbay. As she reached the doors B'Elanna found her tongue.

"Captain I know you hate this, you're a lot like me in that respect, hating your privacy being broken and control taken away…having to be looked after." Kathryn paused at the doorway putting her hand on the frame. "Its just we all care about you and after what you've been through we just want to help." Kathryn's grip tightened on the frame her knuckles turning white under the pressure. "I know that you feel guilty for what happened and just so you know, no one blames you…I don't blame you. None of it was your fault, please remember that Captain."

B'Elanna slowly walked over to where her Captain stood, standing behind her.. She took a deep breath.

"Captain I have never respected anyone as much as I have respected you, I don't think I've ever told you that," she continued her voice hoarse with emotion. "I don't think I've ever told you how much I've always valued your opinion and advice and that was my mistake, I should have told you a long time ago." Kathryn felt a tear escape her eye. "We almost lost you…more then once and it made me realise how much I haven't said and how much I value your presence in my life. I care about you a great deal Kathryn Janeway as my Captain and as my friend." B'Elanna felt tears fall from her eyes and for once didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed of them "A friend that I desperately want to see more of with out, oh God what does he call it, the…the Captains mask in place."

Kathryn placed her hand over her mouth as her body remained stiff. Everyone of B'Elanna's words cut into her deeply, the emotion almost unbearable in its intensity, almost making her buckle and fall to her knees.

"You are the single bravest most noble and courageous person I have ever had the privilege to know or serve under. You changed my life, making me the person I am now. A person that I am proud of and that I hope you are proud of too."

"I am B'Elanna, more then you know," Kathryn whispered as the dam in her eyes bust and her tears cascaded down her cheeks. She still didn't turn around.

"Please be brave now, you won't be weak or loose our respect if you let us in to help you. Me, Tom, Harry, Seven, Doc, Neelix, Chakotay, the whole crew in fact would follow you to hell and back if you so much as suggested it. Chakotay….God Chakotay he would do that and so much more with a smile on his face if it would only make you happy for even a second. Do you realise how much he loves you? Do you realise how much we all love you?" B'Elanna cried as she turned her face away and furiously wiped her cheeks. She felt a hand gently grip her face and turn her back around. Her eyes met Kathryn's seeing a mirror image of her own tear stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes in front of her.

"I'm sorry B'Elanna," Kathryn whispered brokenly as fresh tears escaped her eyes. In her eyes B'Elanna saw everything; the pain, regret, loss, longing and hope.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," B'Elanna whispered seriously. That last comment destroyed the last of Kathryn's defences and she crumbled, sobbing openly into B'Elanna's arms. B'Elanna fell with her never feeling as relieved or honoured in her life.

How long she cried for B'Elanna didn't know but her legs were telling her that if she didn't get up now they would drop off and leave her. Kathryn had stopped sobbing a while back but B'Elanna could still feel the occasional tears soak her shoulder.

"Captain…"

"If we're going to be friends don't you think you should call me Kathryn?" she answered as she pulled back from the embrace a small smile present on her lips.

"I would be honoured…" she replied honestly. "..Kathryn. It might take me a while to get used to it though." Kathryn chuckled quietly, the first real laugh she had experienced in what seemed like forever and it made B'Elanna break out into a grin.

"What," she questioned moving towards the replicator as Kathryn moved to sit on the sofa. "Two coffees, black," she stated as the machine produced the wanted beverage. She handed Kathryn her cup as she sat down next to her.

"It took Chakotay around five days to stop correcting himself," Kathryn informed her smiling gently at the memory. She gazed into her coffee cup for a few moments before she met B'Elanna's eyes. "Thank you," she said softly.

"You would do the same for any one of us," B'Elanna replied. "I'm just glad you trust me enough to let me help you. Your trust means a lot to me." Kathryn grasped her hand.

"B'Elanna Torres you listen to me, I have always trusted you. What you have done for me today has just added and built upon my trust for you, never doubt that. I trust every single member of my crew. What happened this past week has effected me more then I care to admit or should admit." B'Elanna began to protest but Kathryn stopped her by holding up her hand. "I know you don't agree with that but it's the way I have always been and the way I was taught and trained to be, it will be hard for me to break out of that habit, but I want to. I need to."

"Will you let us help, will you talk to us or at least talk to Chakotay?" B'Elanna questioned hopefully.

"I will certainly try," Kathryn answered shakily. B'Elanna smiled just as the door chimed. Kathryn cleared her throat.

"Come in." The doors parted to reveal an anxious looking Chakotay, his gaze flittered between the two women. Silently questioning both of them with his eye. B'Elanna decided that this was her cue to leave and placed her coffee cup on the table as she stood and made her way slowly to the door.

"Well Kathryn I should go now Tom is probably pacing a hole in the carpet," she joked before turning serious again. "Remember what I said and call me if you need anything."

"I will." The two women shared a small smile before B'Elanna kissed Chakotay gently on the cheek and left the room. The doors closed behind her leaving the room silent. Kathryn stood up and turned towards the view port, staring out at the stars.

"Kathryn…" Chakotay met the eyes of Kathryn's reflection in the view port. She smiled shakily at him before leaning her forehead on the hand she rested on his reflection. Chakotay strode forward so that he was standing behind her closely, although not close enough to be touching. "Kathryn…are you alright?" he whispered caressing her name with his voice.

"No," she breathed shakily, surprising Chakotay with the admission., she reached for his hand and he offered it to her without hesitation.. She gripped it firmly finding comfort in the warmth of the contact and feeling safe with him next to her. "No…but in time, I will be." Slowly her hand changed position so that they were palm to palm, echoing a gesture from long ago as blue eyes met brown. "I will be."

_The End_

_Well I can't believe it, it seems like I have been writing this story forever. Not bad considering it started out as a one shot that morphed into what was supposed to be a short multi chapter story, lol. I hope you have all enjoyed the ride, I've loved every second of it even if it did frustrate the hell out of me from time to time. Its been an amazing emotional roller coaster for me, having me crying aww-ing, gasping, screaming and hating myself all the way through, lol. I hope you saw, read and felt the emotion I tried to convey._

_To everyone who reviewed and stayed with me, despite my sporadic updates I thank you very much, several times over from the bottom of my heart. I know its probably been frustrating for you, having to wait for the updates and for that I am sorry but I hope its been worth it and that you have enjoyed it as much as I have. Gosh I'm all emotional, lol._

_Feedback would be more then welcome, I love hearing all you have to say, whether it's on the story as a whole or just the ending. If you want me to right more, an epilogue or sequel of some sort then tell me and I will try and get one done. _

_Thank you again_

_Yours Truly_

_Steph7085_

_xxx_


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